We have all been through a tumultuous time, some of us more than others. Some of us are doctors, nurses, EMT’s,
nursing home staff and other frontline caretakers who project care and concern for their patients’ or clients’ health. Some of us have emotional issues or traumas that are triggered by what is happening at this moment in history. How do we, even those of us at home, watching 79,602 of our brothers and sisters in the Unites States of America, and 279,307 in the world lose their lives in a worldwide pandemic, undergo quarantine and social distancing for week upon week and month upon month, without being psychologically negatively affected, when we are all doing our very best to attempt to keep the fascade of life as usual?
This COVID-19 pandemic is not ended. It is continuing each day. Today in the USA there are 3,178 new confirmed cases, and 76 new deaths to add to the growing tally each day.
Even the strongest among us need to take stock of our mental health, our moods, our thoughts.
It is a mistake to say that we have no control over our thoughts, even when we have physically been through extreme life and death situations. It is a mistake to say that we have no control over our thoughts and will, ever. That is a broken crutch. OUR PREVIOUS HISTORY IS NOT OUR DESTINY. Challenging situations are taxing and draining. When we are tired we never think straight. Our thoughts at those times are not the true reality of our entire being.
When we are overtired, we are revving at a lower vibration. At moments like these the matching vibration of thought goes to negative thinking, and all of the lower mental and emotional thoughts that get sucked into that dark abyss of stress, anxiety, panic, fear, grief, and depression in all its forms.
We need a lift in thought, the next more positive thought, like stepping stones out of the dungeon.
We do have the choice to get out of this debilitating feeling. Our thoughts do not think us. We think our thoughts. At times we can be quite adept at changing our moods and feelings from negative to positive, from sad to happy, from grief to acceptance. It is possible to change dark moods to lighter moods. The real question is, do we really want to?
The reason for this particular post is the repeated misnomer that I am hearing like a dysfunctional drum beating to a self-sabotaging tune of “It’s just the way I am,” and “You don’t understand,” or “I have been diagnosed with such-and-such and have been told I need years of counseling.” When these thought patterns occur to individuals, many take them at face value, as if they were real. They are not.
The problem with these negative statements is that there truly is another way to healing that alleviates mental suffering and emotional anguish much sooner. It is not a race. But who wouldn’t want to feel better quicker?
I once attended a psychology course for the CEUs it offered. Had it not been for the fact that I was in need of those CEUs, I would have left the building. As it was, I needed them, so I stayed. It was a traditional counseling course, as opposed to a holistic counseling course, which was the major difference. The bottom line was that the person suffering simply had to do nothing, and the depression, anxiety, panic or whatever was the offending feeling, would go away in its own time. Is this true? Yes. But is that helpful to the suffering client? No.
This is a matter of the ego.
This is a matter of the will.
One might think that the ego would not sabotage the individual. But the ego wants to win at all cost. The ego will invent thoughts and suggestions to maintain the status quo, even if it is negative, even if it is a lie. The ego hates change. The ego likes the comfort of what it knows, its habits, even if they are dysfunctional habits.
The solution is in resurrecting our will. We are in charge of our will. Our will is not in charge of us. On one hand we know this, until life and death situations hijack our minds, emotions and feelings. In the blink of an eye, we can all of a sudden think of ourselves as victims, if that is a pattern we have created in our emotional history. Do you, or have you ever thought of yourself as a victim, a victim of this or a victim of that, or even a victim of your own life? Do you consider yourself to be a victim of this pandemic, no matter which role you are now fulfilling?
You are here for a reason. Thank God you are here at this moment, at this exact time. You matter.
No, people do not need years of counseling, nor therapy. Traditional counseling is a trap many people fall into for years. Holistic counseling is different. It is goal oriented. I call traditional counseling “belly-button gazing,” always looking down, back and ever-spiraling inward. It’s hard to see the sun shining in the future when you dig dark tunnels into the past.
When people came to me for counseling, I explained how the holistic counseling sessions would go. I would give the first 15 minutes of each session to allow the client to present history or consideration on what brought them to me. The remainder of the 45 minutes were spent on goals of their own making to get them unstuck. One could spend a lifetime in traditional therapy sessions asking about the childhood, the mother, the father, the teacher, the boss, the whoever, but at some point, usually at the point at which the client wants to give up because they have not made any progress (surprise, surprise), the individual still has to come to the point of NEXT POSITIVE STEPS TO TAKE. I would give the client 6-8 sessions. I always found this approach to work in the end. I always found constantly dwelling on the past, or the negative situations only served to bind the client into non-action, and therefore immobilized for life. Obviously this does not work. I would also point out that if the client was not ready to move forward in the 6-8 week program, that that was usually a sign that the clients was not ready, willing, nor able to heal at this moment in time. People will not heal if they are determined not to. Healing is up to the individual person. It is up to their own free will.
Who cares why? Even when people discover WHY something is the way it is, or WHY people are feeling the way they are feeling, you STILL get to the point I start with, which is, where do you want to go from here? THAT is what gets people unstuck and moving forward, physically, mentally, emotionally and even spiritually.
You and I have the ability to restructure our thoughts at this very moment, even amid dealing with the COVID-19 pandemic. Now is not forever. It is at this time we show ourselves our mettle, the stuff we are made of.
Your tears show your empathy, compassion and love for your brothers and sisters. Decide not to despair. You are not alone. I am with you. You can click on the gray words LEAVE A COMMENT at the top left of this and all posts, and I will get back to you, free of charge.
Your courage moves you forward when fear and exhaustion would otherwise crush you. Courage is not the absence of fear and exhaustion. It is walking through the fear and exhaustion with as much care, love and expertise that you can offer. Those you are helping appreciate your efforts, even if they are not able to vocalize it.
Your compassion keeps you and others safe, comforted and supported. There is not one person on this whole earth who is not appreciating you at this heroic moment you are living. I appreciate you.
God Bless You All