Have you ever said, “You made me …. think, say, or do something?”
Have you ever blamed someone for the way you feel?
Have you blamed the other guy for getting fired, getting in trouble, or anything else?
This is a lesson in personal character development. It’s not the other guy’s fault. It is a lesson in maturity. It is one of those things that will keep repeating until the lesson is learned.
Using your emotions, words, and actions to try to get other people to respond to you in a certain way is called emotional blackmail.
It takes personal integrity to own up to our own shortcomings, mistakes, lies, and bad decisions. Everyone makes mistakes in life. Not one of us is perfect. This is how people of all ages learn. No matter how old you are, you are never too old to learn something new, a better way.
Also, other people do not have to walk on broken eggshells to be around you in order not to “make” you feel a certain way. You do not have to own any dark or negative feeling unless you want to feel that way. Choosing to stay in a negative emotional space is called wallowing and serves no healthy purpose. Others cannot make you feel anything that you do not want to feel. It is time to be honest with ourselves and why we are choosing to feel a particular way.
Everyone has the right and ability to choose to feel good. Those who are dealing with negative peer pressure at any age would do well to know that it is possible to remove your physical self from situations that are unhealthy. Everyone has the ability to stop reading malicious gossip and walk away from gossip circles where those who think they are popular prove that they are not. Those who gossip about others show their own emotional bankruptcy. Just because someone else chooses to use negative speech does not make it true. You already know this.
It is not the case that you have to manipulate outer circumstances to make yourself feel a certain way. It’s not about controlling others or circumstances at all. It is about realizing that you are in control of yourself. It feels good to finally realize that you are in control of you, no one else.
Sometimes, people think they have to justify negative feelings that come their way, almost feeling the need to fuel the fire of misunderstandings and hurts that sparked them as a way of “being true to themselves.” This is a mistake. It turns a small flame of hurt into a raging bonfire that is hard to put out. It’s a pity party, a self-sabotage trap that does not need to happen. This is emotional quicksand. Stop thinking this way as soon as you recognize it. Yes, you can.
If this happens to you, once you realize this is happening, it is easy to simply acknowledge that feeling, and in the next moment decide to think a better, happier thought. We are all in charge of our own thoughts. Our thoughts do not remain in our heads unless we feed them with our attention and emotions.
It is simply a matter of DECIDING to think in a new and healthier way. It is your DECISION to invest more in your own healing and well-being and in what others think, say, and do. It is a DECISION you DECIDE TO MAKE THAT MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE IN THE WORLD.
IT IS ALSO AN AWARENESS OF THE ETERNAL UNIVERSAL LIFE FORCE ENERGY WITHIN YOU. IT CONTAINS LOVE, WISDOM, AND KNOWLEDGE. IT IS LIGHT.
This Light is inside you, just as it is in all living things. This Light is your Essence, your personal Life Force, which no one can steal away from you. It belongs to you alone. This is a Bright, White, Eternal Universal Life Force Energy that pulses through every fiber of your DNA. It is not dependent on your viewpoint, opinion, or understanding. It is your own Chi, Prana, Qi, otherwise known as Eternal Universal Life Force Energy. It is this same Energy that radiates through every tree, leaf, and bird. It animates everything. No other person has more of it than you.
It’s time to be kinder to yourself, to forgive yourself, and forgive others. You do not need to punish yourself for the misunderstandings of others, nor for your own misunderstandings. Take a new breath of fresh air.
You are in charge of you, no one else. Your happiness does not rest on others understanding. Your happiness rests on your understanding of yourself, of you being true to yourself.
It also takes strength of character, to take a deep breath of compassion for others. Having this compassion is called grace.
Grace is the ability to let someone “off the hook,” so to speak, because they simply have no frame of reference for your feelings due to their own lack of experience, especially if you do not explain how you are feeling to them. Grace is treating someone with the same dignity with which you also want to be treated.
God Bless Everyone Everywhere.