There are many different kinds of “crazy” attributed to manifestations of power plays, mind control, self-sabotage, sabotaging others, and manipulation. This is most common when young children are in the throes of trying to get their own way, having a temper tantrum, learning to share, and finding ways to get along with others. It is most unfortunate when these bad habits carry into adulthood.
The typical maneuver, which might sound familiar if this has ever happened to you, is for someone to set up a situation of their own design, then blame you if you fail to read their mind, or act in the way they contrived for you to act. There is a price to be paid and consequences to be played out for you not acting in their prescribed way.
Meanwhile they never tell you the whole truth. You never get the full picture. Knowledge is power. If you don’t get all the knowledge necessary to understand what is actually going on, you don’t get the power. The manipulator has the power.
They think the power is in the secrets, the secret agenda, the secret attention getting attitudes and behaviors. It is as if you ought to know exactly what is going on, and why it is going on, by the few salted words that strategically fall from their lips. Just simply accept what they say without question. How dare you?
The truth of this situation is that the power is not in their secrets. The power is in knowing you own the rights to your personal integrity, self-esteem, and who you are as a person. When others try to push you down to lift themselves up, that can only happen if you allow it. This is your power in this situation.
This is how others pull your strings to get you to either do their bidding or react in a particular way. Has this ever happened to you?
Healing always begins and ends with love. Have love for yourself to step away from others, even if it is for a brief moment, so as not to be drawn into the drama they blame on you, but which keeps the fires of their imaginations burning bright, justifying their every reason for everything. This is not your fault.
They need time to observe what happened when their thoughts, words, and actions overtook their sensibilities. Sometimes light dawns on Marblehead and they recognize that perhaps, just maybe, they overreacted, and may want to make amends.
Have the Grace to know that every single person makes mistakes, especially in trying times. Holding grudges, growing in bitterness, and fostering broken relationships to the tune of “I’ll never speak to you ever again in my life,” or condoning other relationship-ending behaviors only serves to cripple the person holding the grudges.
Carrying around a sack of grudges is like carrying around a sack of cancer. It is a vibrational frequency reality. Like attracts like.
Have you ever noticed that those who hold the most grudges are the ones who claim to be the most religious? This is so ironic, since Jesus taught the Lord’s Prayer where we are all supposed to “forgive those who trespass against us.”
This is where we turn to that Grace that lives in love, empathy, and compassion. “There but for the Grace of God go I.”
If you or I were born with that DNA predisposition to depression, self-sabotage, or mental or physical handicaps, it would be you and me struggling with this life lesson.
As it is, if you are on the other side of this situation, it is your life lessons to grow a heart, full of the magnanimity of putting yourself in the other person’s shoes and forgive them for not being able to think, speak, or act in healthier ways.
Forgiveness is part of love. Forgiveness goes both ways, for the one excommunicating you from their life, and for the one who has been offended.
Love is the answer to all problems in the world, especially relationship problems. Sometimes the most healing thing you can do is to give the excommunicator space and time to heal, including coming to terms with why you have thought, said, and done what you did.
There is more involved than one way to think, speak, and act. In relationships there is more than one person to consider. Life is an interesting puzzle of myriad life lessons.
Don’t stress.
Remember to Breathe.
What you focus on grows.
Focus on healing, forgiveness, and love.
God Bless Everyone everywhere.