Personal self-esteem can take an emotional hit when we place the value of ourselves in the eyes of others. It is a bonus when we enjoy family and friends who love us, treat us with respect, and want to be in our company. However, the opinion and treatment of others carries no weight in how we think of ourselves, unless we decide to take on the opinions of others as our own truth. That is a conscious and sometimes unconscious decision we make. I wish every person, young and old, knew this very liberating reality. What others think about us is none of our business. There is a lesson to be learned here about self-esteem, living consciously, self-acceptance, self-assertiveness, living purposefully, and personal responsibility.
Think of it this way, self-esteem is all about what we think of ourselves, not what others think of us. Self-esteem is valuing the person we are from the inside projecting outside of us. It is not a matter of matching a lower vibration of those outside of us to take into us.
Social, educational, and employment circles can falsely cripple minds of all ages if we place importance on everyone else’s opinion rather than our own belief in ourselves. This can happen to people of all ages. Relationships at home, employment, and educational settings need to be assessed periodically as a measure of you being in control of you, and not under someone else’s control-freak dehumanizing language, or behavior.
To correct a head-on collision course of self-sabotage, decide today to never again take on, as if they other person is right, any negative attributes of your character, personality, or even physical abilities or disabilities. Decide today, even if it is the first time, to try on the new thought pattern, the new behavior, and the new words that are only self-affirming, self-loving, and self-motivating into where you want your life to proceed.
If your world is filled with those who prefer to tear you down, psychologically, mentally, emotionally, physically, and yes, even spiritually, know this is not your tribe. These are not the people with whom you are meant to associate. This is a harsh lesson to learn, even when it happens within families. Better to be the lone survivor of those who use humiliation, shame, guilt, obligation, and manipulation to turn you into their puppet.
You are here on this Earth for a reason. You have a mission in this life. Maybe you have come into this life to learn a particular life lesson. Maybe you are in this life to help other people learn life lessons. There are things that need to be done that only you can do. Only you will meet the people you meet today, having a tremendous effect on you and everything around you. You are the master of your reality today. You matter. You are worthy.
Once you stand up for yourself, even by simply walking away psychologically, mentally, emotionally, physically, a new breath of positive possibility can dawn. It takes courage. You might think you cannot stand up for yourself. Yes, you can.
Changing paradigms, daily routines, and the people you choose to surround yourself with, can be challenging, yet exhilarating. One of the most difficult things in life is to change personal habits. We get addicted to our habits. They are comfortable, even if they are dysfunctional. This is similar to wanting to change other self-sabotaging habits, like smoking, dieting, and every other addiction. We can become addicted to the negative way we think about ourselves, but that does not make the negative perception true.
The first helpful thing is to switch your thinking from gloom and doom to a sunny thought, looking for the wonder and joy in each day. The bad things of each day will be there also, of course. There is good and bad with everything. Just know it is not all bad.
Yes, it is helpful and life-affirming to surround ourselves with inspirational, fun-loving people. Hopefully those can be our family and friends. But if you find yourself in a situation where change needs to happen, you can always rely on holistic health counseling to help you get to where you are going in a safe, healthy way.
Try something new, like simply smiling at people as they walk by, hold the door open for someone, and small gestures of kindness, join a group with your interests, a reading club, Yoga or walking group, or other safe ways to meet new people. Just know you are in charge of you and no one else. You are in charge of your happiness, peace, and fulfillment. That is not up to someone else. This is up to you. It is your decision to stay where you are, or to move on. The choice is yours.
You might be a more private or shy person. You can still do new things, explore online painting classes, like at Craftsy.com | Express Your Creativity! | Engage your passion with Craftsy and learn to make something beautiful! These classes have pre-recorded teachers demonstrating crafts you might like to try. Not all new endeavors require meeting people in real time. You can progress at your own pace.
Music can help to elevate moods. Moods follow thoughts, always, not the other way around. So one last tip is, if you don’t like how you are feeling, change how you are thinking. Yes, you can change what you are thinking about, like when you have had enough of something, you go do something different. Rather than staying stuck in the quagmire of self-sabotaging thoughts, make the decision to think of something more fun, relaxing, and/or inspirational.
Know that your self-esteem is not based in other people. Your self-esteem is rooted in your thoughts, beliefs, and understanding of yourself. If you are reading this, know that you have good in you and you are here for a reason.
There is a light within you. It might just be a dull glow sometimes, but it is there. This light has the power to shine on new paths, new ideas, new plans. This light is life. You decide how you will handle the upcoming holidays and new projects. Cleaning your physical space, your home, office, or employment can give you a long-awaited boost. Once you work with this light within you, you will be amazed at the good things that will come your way.
Namaste