I have seen people blame others for being Energy Vampires, when they themselves are Energy Vampires. Not only that, but the original culprit also points their finger at others then assumes the Control Freak role in how they deal with the situation of their own making.
I have seen this play out, especially in those of us who are the first children born into their families.
While this may be a surviving mechanism, it is a common trait. Thank God people can mature and grow in character development.
Parents will try just about anything to get their children to obey family rules, do good in school, stay out of trouble, and become decent citizens of this complex world.
Coping skills can get stressed when everything parents have tried fails.
It is when all else fails that the perpetrator of the self-sabotaging manipulation turns to relationship threats of blaming others for their own shortcomings.
Sure, they can excommunicate others from their lives, thinking they have won some insane battles of wills, but they cripple themselves in the process. They must believe the lies they have built their house of cards upon.
The offender, thinking this is a fresh new breath of air, stifles themselves in this childish game, while they have to orchestrate constant reminders not to be in the others’ presence for every holiday and major life event.
Instead, growth in character development encourages the original Energy Vampire, the one slinging stones at old hurts, keeping them alive by the act of fighting against them, calls on reconciliation and forgiveness, on both sides of this vacant relationship. Remember, every action has an equal and opposite reaction. That’s a universal law.
Manipulation is often the parenting sword many parents fall on as a last resort to getting their children to do household chores and other responsibilities as part of being a family member. Some children grow up thinking that the parents should cater to their every whim.
At first, parents might think that spoiling their child(ren) is a loving thing to do. But I have seen firsthand how a spoiled child turns into a car thief, because no rules ever applied to him.
Healing relationship issues is the easiest thing to do. Making the decision to take the upper road, change the paradigm of dysfunction into a functional relationship is the hard part. That is a fight within the self. It can be difficult to come to terms with the ramifications of such harsh past decisions. One never wants to admit being wrong. Pride is at stake.
But healing can take place. Holding grudges is cancer causing. The body is not meant to store life-long stresses, especially if they are self-induced. People reap from the seeds they have sown.
Namaste