The following is shared with permission from Christine McGovern. Thank you, Christine, for allowing me to share this. I’ve written about this in the past, but your addition here can help so many more people across the globe.
So today, I thought I would share something I recently heard about.
I was watching a video, that was explaining that there are people who you technically wouldn’t think are narcissists, but are actually “covert” narcissists.
These are people you would classify as martyrs.
Those people who make you feel sorry for them because life has dealt them a really bad hand, over and over.
They experience loss, illness, bad luck, etc at a much higher rate than is typical. And keep attracting more!
Not that this makes them a martyr. There are many of us who seem to have an abundance of things that go wrong.
The difference between people who are just experiencing “bad” things, and those who are covert narcissists, are those who constantly compare themselves to others, insist that their pain is worse than everyone else’s, and that no one can possibly fathom what they are going through.
They are stuck!
They constantly seek sympathy, but refuse to do anything about their circumstances.
They become “victims” in their own mind and use that to manipulate others.
They say they tried “everything”, but refuse to try anything new or different, because that would mean they would actually have to admit their part in creating those circumstances, and do the inner work necessary to change them.
They don’t want to hear others success stories, because they either aren’t real, or couldn’t possibly work for them.
They get angry when presented with possible solutions, because then the sympathy would stop.
And they thrive on that.
They take advantage of the kindness of others.
Others who are sensitive souls who just want to help everyone, like myself.
They take advantage of those who want to help them by manipulation. Roping them in and making them feel obligated to keep doing for them.
Now, I am not saying that everyone who is suffering is like this. Absolutely not!
Just those who refuse to help themselves.
And those people need to be cut off. We can’t truly help them by feeding their desire for sympathy.
It may sound mean, but it’s actually a form of tough love.
We can still love them from a distance.
We can hold space for them, and pray for them.
When people stop getting the sympathy from outside, they will be forced to help themselves!
They will have no choice but to look inside, and hopefully become empowered enough to start making the changes that will make their lives better.
Take a look at the trauma they have experienced and see it as an opportunity to not only overcome it, but eventually help others who are suffering!
That involves seeing things from a higher perspective, forgiving others, as well as ourselves.
If we refuse to do that, we will be stuck in pain in a never-ending loop.
If you are sick and tired of being sick and tired and are ready to make a real commitment, to start your transformation of having a better life, send me (Christine McGovern on Facebook) a PM, and we can set up a chat.
Check out her website at: www.peacefulenergybalance.com
Namaste