The Merry-Go-Round of Depression ~Do You Want To Feel Better?

Do you want to feel better? We need to ask ourselves this question because we may not like how we are feeling, but somehow we have attached ourselves to the very depression which seems to be holding us hostage. I went to a seminar on depression about a dozen years back. If I wasn’t in need of the CEUs the program was giving me, I would have walked right out the door. But there I was, needing CEUs, so I stayed and listened to what I know works, but at the slowest rate possible. Do nothing was the solution of the speaker. I couldn’t believe me ears.

Let me ask you a question. When you are feeling depressed, do you want to get out of depression quickly, or would you rather wallow in the depression, going from bad to worse, until that one magical day, which ultimately does arrive, when you do not feel depressed anymore? It is true, as the speaker at this seminar was pontificating, that if you simply do nothing, eventually you know, as you have known in the past, that one day, sooner or later, depression lifts.

The more she talked, the angrier I got. The fact of the matter is that everything she said was true. However, it is also true that you can take positive action, at this very moment to begin to feel better. If you are depressed and want to stay in your depression, then do not read any further, because what I also know is true, is how to get out of depression sooner.

I am not saying you snap your fingers and you are magically better. But what I do know is, that there is a way out of depression that does not require you to stay under a depressive cloud until one day the winds of thinking change and voilà, you are no longer depressed.

There is a wonderful true statement in holistic counseling. It is, “If you don’t like how you are feeling, change how you are thinking.” That does work 100 percent of the time, unless someone refuses to do it. It does seem like our thoughts “think” us, but that is not true.

As soon as we realize that our thoughts have been hijacked by the merry-go-round of mental dysfunction, we tell our minds we are going to focus, think or dwell on something else; like making a creative meal tonight with candles, or a special dessert to share with our kids, or carve a pumpkin and toast the seeds, or plan a fun movie night with popcorn for the kids and their friends along with you, or a host of other new things we can do in that same amount of time, jump into fall cleaning, or go shopping for a bit of pretty stationary to write to a friend who now lives far away.

Yes there is social media, but there is nothing quite as special as receiving a handwritten letter in the mail … and a thousand creative other things we can choose to think about, write about and tell others about. We do not only have to talk about the negative, dark and/or depressive moments in our lives. Rather than constantly talk about negative things, depression can make you not talk at all, so that no one knows what pain you are in. No man (woman or child) is an island. We all need each other. This is our sign to reach out to others. You are worthwhile and loved no matter what bad things have happened to you in the past.

Nothing we can say or do will change the past. All we can do is to go forward. We can raise the tone of our minds, the words we choose to share with others, and the actions we choose to take. We have the power to make them positive, life-giving decisions; or make them by only choosing to keep depressive thoughts, words and actions simply because our ego wants to keep us there, stuck. We make this choice, one way or the other, every single time depression sets in. Don’t let the ego win on this one.

Choosing more positive thoughts, words and actions works whether or not we are on medications prescribed us by doctors to help us get through the day. There are real chemical imbalances out there. But even at that, nothing will change until we decide by making a firm decision to change what we are thinking about. That really is possible.

It seems we have an inner fight between the “good” us and the “bad” us. That would be our ego roaring like a lion that we cannot change our thoughts. There are so many things our ego does not want to do, because it likes the dysfunctions it knows. The ego hates change more than you hate being depressed. The good news is that you are the boss of you, not your ego.

Try to find moments to appreciate, a smile to share, look for the beauty in nature, feel the sun on your face. I know all of this does not take problems nor the past away, or make it so bad things never happen. The point is not to let the past dictate our present nor our future. Bad things do happen, but we need to look to the present moment and plan for how we will bring in light, love, peace and joy into our lives and the lives of those around us. It can be done in baby steps or by leaps and bounds.

I am sharing what has helped so many people (5,000 to be exact) who came to see me in counseling for this very situation. We cannot change the past, but we can come up with better coping skills for the present and the future.

God Bless