Does one argument serve as a blast from the past? Do negative patterns keep repeating? The whirlpool of dysfunction spins with every ounce of energy that feeds it. How do you keep past negative energies from ruining your present days?
It is important to heal past hurts, not just “forget” them and move on. Without healing from past hurts, there is no moving on. Forgetting is not a healing method.
Whether or not any individual heals is totally up to that person. This is not the time for the blame game, with such thoughts as, “If you had not done this … I would not have done that…” or “It’s all your fault.”
It is no one’s fault but your own for the way you choose to feel at any given moment. It is not up to the other person to make you feel better. In a perfect world, apologies are beneficial and healing, but healing can still take place if the other person has yet to find the words or has left this world.
There are things individuals can do to heal. Holistic counseling sessions can help. Healing the heart is a decision the hurting individual makes, regardless if the person is in counseling or not. Anxiety medications may help in crisis situations where run-away panic attacks try to run the show. Even if this is the path chosen with counseling and/or medication, there still comes a time when a decision needs to be made to heal the broken heart full of broken dreams.
Did I just say it is the hurt person’s responsibility to feel better?
Yes.
Taking personal responsibility for the way you feel is liberating. Decide on the necessary borders for emotional health. Take stock of your emotional self, a pure gift of free will.
Each one of us thinks our own thoughts. Our thoughts to not think us. There are no victims here. If you do not like the thoughts that repeat over and over like a broken record, then it is up to you to change what we are thinking about.
A few years back I attended a western medicine, one-day seminar on the psychology and method for improving depression and negative self-perception. The answer the lecturer presented was to do absolutely nothing. Doing nothing was the solution in her opinion. That answer infuriated me. Yes, it is true that if you do nothing but sit in your misery and depression, sooner or later, in a day, weeks, or maybe even a year later, the sun will eventually shine on those cloudy days.
How irresponsible it is for the medical community to suggest such a remedy when holistic counseling has a proven track record for assisting people in changing their moods and positive self-perception one hundred percent of the time, unless the directions given are not followed. Holistic health counseling is a drugless therapy that works.
In the case of healing past hurts, the question is, why are past hurts affecting your present life?
The only way real-time-triggers alert the emotional body is if the past hurts have not yet been healed, sometimes decades later. It is one thing to recognize the painful and familiar feeling of fear, regressing us back into childhood when you were not fully aware of your human potential. It is quite another thing to decide to stay stuck in the debilitating minutiae for a lifetime of regret.
Notice if dysfunctional issues and patterns keep repeating in life. This is a tell-tale sign you are bound by Karmic ties which will send you back in the countless cycles of life according to the laws of reincarnation, until you finally address these and other issues. You have free will, meaning nothing is forced upon you.
The only thing that not forgiving and not loving does for you is to guarantee yet another life cycle. It is humanly possible to achieve Ascension in one lifetime, but you must work at it. Cutting Karmic ties is all about remaining Karma free, creating a clear path for your own personal Ascension.
Ascension is knowing what Jesus taught, that the Kingdom of God is WITHIN you, as he said in Luke 17:20-21. It is this Christed Energy, also known as the Limitless Living Light of the Eternal Universal Life Force Energy that animates your Spirit and Sul.
If past hurts continue to appear as ghosts haunting current realities, they must be faced and dealt with. What helps in cases like these is to know that you are not still a victim of past hurts, unless you choose to be.
Some people love pity parties.
It is not necessary to face the fears of your dysfunctional pasts with the same level of fright, drama, and chaos that surrounded you in our yester-years. If time and space buffer your past from your present, you might have a better sense of clarity about the subject and triggers that are manifesting. However, if you have not dealt with how you will handle these same triggers when they surface in the future, with the repeated merry-go-round of fright, drama, and chaos, history will keep repeating itself.
The remedy for gaining self-control of your renegade feelings rooted in the past, is FORGIVENESS and LOVE. Now is the time to finally realize, in peace, grace, and integrity, that it is a conscious decision to envelope your younger self in total forgiveness and love. Perhaps you were just a child when emotional traumas were part of your world.
When forgiveness and love are extended to the other individual, the person who inflicted the hurt, healing can finally begin. This is helpful even if this person has passed on. Thoughts and words have a life of their own. Once thought or spoken, they travel through time and space, reaching their intended destination. Forgiving the person who inflicted trauma also has a mirror effect that benefits you.
Forgiving and loving someone of a transgression which inflicted emotional harm, is not the same thing as condoning what happened. Relationship traumas harm both parties.
Not forgiving the other person for the emotional harm they inflicted, even if it was years ago, does not hurt the offending person. Rather, not forgiving the other person for the emotional harm they inflicted, only serves to further harm the unhealed person. The emotional hurt simply does not go away with time.
Emotional blackmail is not a productive solution. Withholding love and/or forgiveness harms both parties. Emotional blackmail breaks relationships. Emotional blackmail is based up manipulation, fear, obligation, and guilt as tools of emotional health destruction. This is the way others attempt to “handle” their emotional victim. No one regardless of age wants to be “handled.” It is healthier to walk away in this case, until the emotional blackmailer seeks holistic health counseling in order to heal and transform into the better person they can be.
Emotional hurts must be addressed, but it is a matter of personal decisions. The building block necessary to heal and move on emotionally is to determine how you will emotionally handle similar situations if and when they come up in the future. It is interesting to note how many times life situations arise again and again, until you grasp this point. Life is a school of learning these important life lessons.
This is not a matter of fault finding. If you finally determine whose fault something is, it is still necessary to move on, or the emotional pattern of giving in to dysfunction emotionally or mentally keeps repeating itself. Assigning blame is not a healing method.
What is?
LOVE and FORGIVENESS are the only answers; love and forgiveness of self past and present, regardless of age or time gone by. Love and forgiveness combine into one as the blanket which covers the offending person or situation. Again, love and forgiveness are not condoning past emotionally dysfunctional hurts. Love is the soothing balm that sinks into the layer of forgiveness, healing emotional wounds.