You can blame personalities, your thoughts, feelings, and emotions, or other people, places, or things, but the bottom line is, the rudder of your ship of life, (or the fin of your surfboard), when used expertly, can direct you out of chaos and into calm waters.
This sounds like common sense at first, until that turbulent and unexpected wave crashes into your life, attempting to drown you by diverting your attention during the momentary catastrophe. Chaos ensues, along with a sense of non-reality, or feeling lost.
Remember, you are the master of your ship (or surfboard), not the crisis, your health, nor the situation in which you find yourself. You are not alone. You are worthy. You are loved. You are love.
If you spend more time with your next positive step forward as opposed to focusing on the problem that is right in front of you, you will be able to circumvent the trips that trap you. This is good next-time advice. We all learn from our own mistakes. It’s a learning curve discovering what works best for you. Medications can help with depression, anxiety and panic attacks, but even if you are on medication, you will still arrive at the point of this post eventually. It is more helpful to you to get there sooner than later. Just know you can feel better.
“You Deserve To Feel Better,” was the motto of my business, The Massage Clinic, where I saw over 5,000 clients in over eight years. Yes, many came for massage, but they all received holistic health counseling, in addition to the many holistic health counseling clients that came through the doors of the four Connecticut offices.
I know. I can hear your reasons why this won’t work from where I am typing this at this moment:
“But this is my reality now!”
“I can’t deny my reality!”
“That’s wishful thinking!”
“My reality is a living hell!”
No. Those statements above are all part of self-sabotage waiting to fall on your head.
The minute you CHANGE HOW YOU ARE THINKING is the moment you begin to heal mind, body and spirit.
Yes, it IS possible to change how you are thinking. The resistance is in not WANTING to change this negative habit. It’s like the Laws of Thermodynamics, things in motion want to stay in motion, while things at rest tend to stay at rest. It’s call inertia.
Here is where positive self-talk comes in. This is why self-affirming mantras come in. They work 100% of the time, unless you listen to your previous negative programming rather than allowing your mind the possibility of new and unfamiliar refreshing thoughts. Old habits are simply easier for the mind to do. Bad habits are like that. You can change any habit you want to. You will never change any habit you do not want to. How much emotional misery do you wish to tolerate before you give these suggestions a serious try?
NEVER GET OFF ANY MEDICATIONS UNLESS YOUR DOCTOR TELLS YOU TO.
When was the last time you read an inspirational book?
When was the last time you tried something new, like gardening, going for walks, taking a ride to the ocean, hiking through a forest, or star gazing?
When was the last time you called an old (or young – going for levity here) friend, or made a new friend?
What are your negative bad-habit excuses?
I’ve yet to find a person who really embraces change, or loves change, that is, until the breath of long-awaited change reorders your life into something better, easier, more peaceful, empathetic, compassionate, and loving.
I once attended a western medicine conference on brain health and thinking. It was all about depression and how to deal with it. That program advocated for waiting, doing nothing, because they found out that if you do nothing, EVENTUALLY, I guess when the moon is in the right house, or the stars align exactly correctly for your horoscope chart, then the new day will come, and the depressed patient would sooner or later, have a better outlook. Of course, their method of treating depression also centered around the approved drugs they prescribed and the side-effects they encountered (naturally). This last counseling part was all they had, just wait it out.
I was so angry at the advice these western medicine nurses were dishing out like Carter’s Little Liver Pills (from back in the day when I grew up hearing this), that I stormed out of the conference when it was over. I could tell by the first few questions I presented to them about alternative methods of healing, that they would not consider anything else. They said, “Yes, but … it’s good to know if you do nothing the day will come when things get better.”
The questions and answers that were asked and answered infuriated me because I am trained in drugless therapies that work 100% of the time, unless they are not followed. The results using holistic health counseling protocols is astounding, in my experience.
Yes, they were correct. If you do nothing, one day the sun will shine again on your life. Of course, with their plan, you may have to wait an hour, a day, a month, a year, or years, but yes, their plan will EVENTUALLY work.
But why wait when holistic health counseling has proven that drugless therapies do work, and usually much quicker?
Holistic health counseling begins where western medicine leaves off, after taking years of counseling sessions, to find out WHY something is happening. “Who Cares Why?” as my Ph.D. counseling professor, Dr. Dolores Seymour, wrote in her book with this same title. At some point, which is the point I start with, begin to make a new plan, new positive habits. You’ve got this.
Getting a diagnosis does not solve the problem. It can help, I am not saying that it does not. But whether or not you have a diagnosis for what is happening to you and why you are feeling the way that you do, it is not the end of the path of healing. It is only the beginning, obviously. Prior to getting a diagnosis, you are treading water, staying in the same place, getting the same results. Even western medicine makes positive progress when they switch from, “Why is this happening?” to “Here are some mental and emotional thoughts that can assist you in such moments of depression and dysfunction.”
Yes, western medicine counselors do eventually get to this point, but usually they begin with reliving your childhood, your past paradigms of thoughts, words, and actions. This can take years. The point is, even when, and if, you eventually get “there,” you STILL need to begin with, “Are you willing, ready, and able to heal your mind, body, and spirit?”
12 SOLUTIONS
- Are you ready to be lifted from the emotional baggage that is sinking you? Firmly MAKE A DECISION that you are ready, willing, and able to feel better, because, YES, you can.
- Know you can begin your healing process today. Believe it. Tell that negative voice inside you, which is your ego, to be quiet. Know that from now on, you are in charge of you, not that negative, nagging voice. Your ego helps to keep you alive, but sometimes it thinks it is running the show. It is not. You and your DECISIONS are in charge of your life.
- You do not need to explain your reasons nor your life to everyone. Ignore anyone telling you that this does not work, because it truly does work 100% of the time, unless you stop doing it, which will leave you back where you started, unfulfilled and frustrated with the loss of your personal power.
- DECIDE TO CHOOSE peace, happiness and joy over anxiety, sadness, and gloom or other manifestations including anger, which is just a release valve of frustration. Stop being so harsh with yourself. If you could have done better, you would have. Forgive yourself and others and move on. Keep at it.
- Begin saying a mantra in the direction you want to feel. For example, if you are feeling you are not worthy, repeat, “I AM WORTHY.” Go in the bathroom, car, or anywhere you have privacy. Stand in front of a mirror and say out loud to yourself, “I AM WORTHY” for five straight minutes. Say it with conviction. There is a healing vibration that takes place within your mind and body. To your Soul, this is a welcome recognition of who and what you truly are. Do this the first thing in the morning, before lunch, and before you go to sleep. Remember, you are breaking a bad habit. You will most likely not feel like doing any of this. Do it anyway. It works.
- Write down your positive goals for your future. Write down short-term goals for how you plan on dealing with people, places, and things. Be specific. Also write down a few long-term goals. By writing these goals down, even if you never read them again, you are inscribing your intentions in your memory. The more you read over them, the more they will come naturally to you. Read them over often.
- Get at least 15-20 minutes of exercise every day, whether you feel like it or not. It might be helpful for you to join a cycling, Yoga, or walking group. You may prefer to do this all on your own. Either way works, as long as you do it. Again, if you are still reading this, inertia has taken over depressive moods, making it necessary to kick its lazy butt. Even standing in your living room, doing stretches and deep breathing exercises works. Just do it.
- Write down in your journal what you are eating. You truly are what you eat. What is it that is eating you? MAKE A DECISION to only eat foods that are healthy. Again, your ego might fight you on this point. Bad habits are hard to break. Make small changes rather than big unsustainable ones. Drink 8 glasses of water a day. If you are not a water drinker, get a 32-ounce bottle and guzzle it all at once, twice a day, as if you were taking medicine. Your brain is a hydroelectric machine. You need to hydrate your dehydrated brain. Did you know that you cannot think clearly with a dehydrated brain? This is especially helpful for the older population.
- Get at least 8 hours of sleep per night. Yes, the most valiant among us, and doctors in hospitals, can survive on just 4 hours of sleep a night, or even less than that sometimes, but no one wants to have a sleep-deprived doctor work on them, nor be around anyone who sleeps less, because the truth is, no matter how well you think you can operate with less sleep, human beings are meant to regenerate their bodies, minds, and spirits/Souls by adequate sleep.
- Know that it takes 21 days to break any habit, especially dysfunctional, life-long habits that have become hard-wired in the patterns that make you tick. If you fail at doing this, start again, and again. Continue with this process, which costs you nothing but your own desire, time, and energy. YOU ARE WORTHY of a life well-lived. This is a new path, a new idea. Yes, it is work to work on improving yourself holistically. But this work has no negative side-effects except to heal the depression and dysfunction which has sabotaged you thus far. This works side-by-side any doctor who prescribes you medication. There are no contraindications with this holistic health program. It is behavior modification you are seeking to achieve, replacing negative habits with positive ones.
- BE THE DUCK. BE LIKE TEFLON. I used to keep a porcelain duck in each of my four offices as a reminder for them to BE THE DUCK. What does that mean? Notice how a duck simply floats on the water. When it wants to go in a new direction, it does not furiously flap its wings on the water in a temper tantrum. No, it simply makes a DECISION to fly off in the direction it wants to go. Also, when the duck eats from the muck at the bottom of the water, taking in what serves it and leaving the rest. The dirt and muck do not stick to the duck. It slides off easily, without any effort by the duck. Of course, an oil slick is another story! Still, with correct adherence to protocols that work, such as you sticking to these self-help suggestions, you can be free of the issues that have sabotaged you.
- Concentrate on you. You are the one who keeps the measure of your success, no one else. Everyone has enough to do by taking care of their own selves. This is a self-help program which can only help you help yourself. You do not have to do any of this. You have the free will to keep on exactly where you are. These are merely suggestions of steps you can take if you want to feel better.
“You Deserve To Feel Better”
Namaste