Has anyone ever told you that you need to be controlled, put in your place, conform to religious standards, or told others to attempt to do these thing in order to get you in line to their way of thinking? Those are the voices of the weak and fearful, afraid of their own shadows. These are also dominant, over-bearing, and egotistical individuals who, rather than focus on their own character and personal development, seek to usurp your personal power. It’s a power game. It is as if by robbing you of your personal power, they win. If only that were true.
Nothing could be further from the truth. Those are the voices of abused and manipulated individuals, having been burdened by obligation and guilt, perhaps used as a parenting technique for order in the home. Not knowing the proper way to motivate others, what they have learned is how to step on others in an attempt to diminish them, while self-aggrandizing themselves in order to make themselves feel better.
They are also those who are afraid of the light you shine through the chaos, drama, and minutia of daily life. In their eyes, everything you do is wrong, stupid, or incorrect in some way.
Your sense of self-esteem has nothing to do with the erroneous concepts others have about themselves, nor project onto others, including you. It is a learning curve on both sides of this issue. How you respond to others trying to dominate you is key.
Decide what is important to you, what you will allow in your life, and the paradigm you want your life to model. Decide not to react to things. Simply, peacefully leave the conversation or the area. There is no need to match the dysfunction of control freaks.
Why do I mention this? It is because these control freaks have learned how to intimidate, insult, ridicule, and gossip, possibly about you within your family, extended family, neighborhood, and/or work situations. Threatening you and the others around you is their MO, also known as Modus Operandi. Sadly they have sunken to the lowest common denominator in this case, since this phrase, MO or Modus Operandi, is most often used for the working patterns of criminals.
Threatening takes the form of ultimatums such as, “Do not ever mention “So-And-So” to me ever again or I will not speak to you either. The family member who decides to go along with that energizes the bully control freak, feeling they have won. The truth is, the only thing they have done is to cripple their own character development and maturity. These are also the marks of dysfunctional school yard bullies.
Individuals will take abuse from those closest to them, when they would not tolerate the same behavior from others outside of their circle. But dysfunction is dysfunction. Is it time for you to stand up to the bully control freaks in your world.
Again, I stress that this can be done peacefully and with integrity. No one has the rights to your life, and how you live your life but you. If it is time to move on, you can keep open doors to communication if you choose, just simply move on. Your personal, mental and emotional development needs you to be healthy and happy.
FORBES Magazine put together a list of the World’s 100 Most Powerful Women, their country, and the reason for including them at https://www.forbes.com/power-women/list/.
They are an inspiration to all women, especially New Zealand’s Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern who vanquished the first and second wave of COVID-19 by implementing strict lockdown and quarantine procedures; and Taiwan’s President Tsai-Ing-wen who implemented a rigorous contact tracing program in January 2021; as a result, to date, the island of 23 million people has only lost seven people to the virus.
Let’s not forget influential women such as Princess Diana, Mother Theresa, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Amelia Earhart, Harriet Tubman, as well as Angela Merkel, Kamala Harris, Melinda French Gates, Nancy Pelosi, Michelle Obama, Hillary Clinton, Malala Yousafzai, Ellen Degeneres, Queen Elizabeth II, Stacey Cunningham, and Stacey Abrams among the countless other women who have risen to the top and who have had, and those still among the living still have, a positive influence not only in their personal lives, but also with the ability to lift people to higher visions of possibility.
Women do not exist for others to control them, put them in their place, insult and demean them. Never give your personal power away to any person or circumstance. You are greater than you know.
Namaste